I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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