why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
