i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
