Don't you send me to vm
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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