yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
