"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
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just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
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Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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