So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
