he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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