I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Randomize