My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize