He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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