You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
