I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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