the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize