That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
