I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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