matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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