they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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