I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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