I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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