even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
