I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He? As in you personified your dick?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
