Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
