I wanna bring you to show and tell
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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