He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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