xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
