New low: just hacked my moms facebook
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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