The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
3pm strippers are depressing
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
