You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
