yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
