Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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