perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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