Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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