suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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