When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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