dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Randomize