its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
