the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We talked him into tasing himself.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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