I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
