...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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