At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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