Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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