I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he wants to bone in the snuggie
it hurts more in the daytime
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
