here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
