so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
