Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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