Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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