Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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