well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
