And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
