So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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