Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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