Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
