i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize