We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
