I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
