After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
