There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
